i realized updating your blog using a laptop is so much more thrilling. It feels contented and it ought to be that way.

I have an online friend, and we only met up once out of spontaneity in Melbourne. He is kinda special as we know how each other looked like but never had a chance for further catch up/ bonding. But behind the computer screen, we are each other's aunt agony as we came from type A family, living in a mentally abusive environment.
He is J and i literally call him that when we chat via the messenger. To be honest, i have forgotten how does he looked like nowadays, what's left to me is his 183cm silhouette and the way his brow arches when he talks.

I always judge whoever i first talked to and most of the time they are negative impressions. Either the person is weird, boring fake etc. My idea of J was the classic stuck up asian that does not care about anything else other than making more money, always contribute his 101% regardless of his aussie laid back colleagues / company. But he does play a good role advising me about job hunting, and being angry with me when i declined a good job offer in Penang. Kudos for that.

I used to feel sorry for him as i viewed him as a no-lifer, and his works are just an anesthesia for him to avoid the reality that there are so much more than that. I always tell him :" dude, you are too harsh on yourselves", and he admit it.

Yesterday, he poured out everything, i don't know if he cried. ( of course i secretly hope so )
He started complaining about his job, not able to cope over his work, problems with his family and the role he acts in his life. Not saying that i hate reading what he typed to me but It was so depressing and i was affected. Plus with some big fat slaps of reality regarding my future older days from one of my posse yesterday, i was so closed of going to bed early, depressed and missed my favorite Taiwanese talk show during midnight. ( fuckers)

I am just gonna skip the details but basically there are lots of expectations from both of our parents and i have to admit, his case is way worse than i am.
what is the best mitigation for this , we chatted and couldn't find a way out but i am sure sitting down and being diplomatic with them is not an option.
What we did for the past 20 years was avoiding talking to them but just nodding to what they said. Spoiling them with the fact that whatever they do / decide "are for our own good" ( quote from a singaporean movie "i not stupid" )

Don't get me wrong, i heart chatting with J despite my initial negative judgments on his personality. Maybe he loves chatting to me likewise, maybe not and i don't care. But having a mysterious (kinda) guy to chat / vent to is something people should be jealoused of. Just imagine us like Joe Fox and Kathleen Kelly in " you've got mail " . Of course minus the romance bits, shoo~

Shocker of the day : Singaporean authourity will start sending in brochures to help if you are over 30's and still single.